Welcome, dear reader, to my life; at least the portion of which I choose to write down for posterity. If you have stumbled across this blog out of what I can only assume what are hundreds of millions clogging up the pipes of the internet, you may be asking yourself, “Why did I eat the last of the chips last night, now I have to go down to the store and get some more, and you know they never have enough cashiers at this time of the evening. Do I really want to wait ten minutes in line in my flip flops just to get some cool ranch?” Well, Jimmy, may I call you Jimmy? I know only your friends call you Jimmy, but you’re about to start reading about my deepest outer thoughts and cynical world view as laid out for a disinterested anonymous internet audience. So, I’d say that counts us as friends. The answer to you and to everyone else who is listening, is yes, cool ranch is and always will be worth it. And, Jimmy, do give Erin my best regards. We simply must do lunch sometime.
For anyone without a junk food addiction and who isn’t named Jimmy (sorry to the approximately 3% of the populace with the root name James I’m not trying to exclude you I’m just trying to reach a wider audience) a more likely question is, “Why should I read this blog when there are so many equally or more entertaining diversions awaiting me in different darkened alleyways of the internet?” My answer to you is that I have a unique perspective on a lot ofHey look there’s a puppy!
then I told him that you’d get a more accurate representation of your idea if you’d just build a model first, but does he listen to me no. He says to me that making a maquette would just add too much time to the planning phase and production would run behind because of it.
To all my friends and family who I specifically told to read this blog because they were hoping to hear how I’m doing, I am deeply apologetic, but you must deal with my stupidity before I allow you to hear anything of consequence. Hey, I guess it’s pretty similar to talking to me in person after all.
So here I go, take two, where the stakes are raised and this time it’s personal. I’m writing this blog for a number of reasons. The first and most prominently placed in the tile of this post is that I am currently living in Budapest. My girlfriend and I have taken a position teaching English as a second language to the good girls and boys of this far flung land.
Smaller bullet point under the first bullet point, we decided to go to the other side of the planet (not literally, the other side of the planet from the U.S. is actually somewhere in the south Indian Ocean, but hey we’re all learning new things and that’s what’s really important) is because we were tired of living life the same as it had always been. Let me explain, we both grew up in small towns; and because what you know is always the most comforting to return to, we continued living in and around those same small towns for a quarter of a century. Look ma I’m a Bruce Springsteen song. Stripping away all the romance from the situation, we’ve been living with a case of the wanderlust for quite some time, and this was a point in our lives where we could remedy that ailment. There are so many new and amazing things in this world, and I have somehow become lucky enough to witness the barest few. So in one sense, this is a public journal of my thoughts from week to week. In that sense this record can act as a capsule recording the most unsure and exciting year in my life.
We’ve been here for three months already, which has hopefully provided me a surplus of interesting experiences to begin writing about. This brings me to my second point quite nicely. Procrastination. It’s more than just an excuse for me to make a title based pun for a movie that came out 52 years ago. That long elaborate word for wasting my time has been sitting on my shoulders ever since I first learned just how extraordinarily entertaining it is to accomplish absolutely nothing. As was said by the writer Imprint Twin, “Just as well, put off till tomorrow and day after tomorrow what may never be done.” You don’t want to know how much time I just spent writing that stupid joke that upon reflection is hard to follow and barely merits a chuckle. Steamrolling past my own stupid joke, this blog or some variation of it has been on my to-do list for years. So, here it is my earnest try at fighting my laziest demons.
The third reason for this wide string of words to be woven is that I am attempting to stave off my inevitable reversion into a hermit. For no reason apparent to anyone including myself, I decided that by keeping my social media contact to a near nonexistent minimum I was making some kind of protest statement. Only deeming to use the internet to listen to music, take college courses, watch videos, watch movies, play video games, read the news, check facts, purchase books, look up random information, get directions, find reference photos, get restaurant reviews, translate foreign languages poorly, buy novelty clothing, book flights, fail at learning new languages, and find a program that will send me across the world to teach English; but never social media, that would just waste my time. For anyone who can recognize that as the most pointless thing they’ve ever heard, congratulations you are not wrong. All of social media has somehow weathered the storm of my stubborn indifference. I have begun the process of getting over myself. In the end I realized that all I have accomplished is actively removing myself from the lives of those that I know and the great wide world of people that I claim to be so enamored with. Also, as an artist, removing myself from the best means of networking ever devised is the height of madness. For my new readers, yes an artist, add that to the pretentious list.
Well, all of this has seemingly proven that I have no idea how to begin a blog, or how to continue one. So if you want to bear witness to this weekly igniting dumpster fire, grab a seat, preferably the one you are sitting in now. Note, I am in no way advocating the random groping of already engaged upholstery. I am not wealthy or famous enough to get away with that sort of thing.
…Welcome to the life in progress.